Every day I'm just wowed!

Mike trimmed his beard, he has been doing so many chores, inside and out of the house he helps Barry with more than he ever did as a teen! I so missed his infectious laughter, his joy from music, his vitality-- it's back! He has that gleem in his eyes, a genuine smile, and most of all he has pride in all he is doing...Please Dear God, let it continue! I love having my son back.

Misdiagnosis?

The reason I have not updated this blog is due to my husband's surgery and long hospital stay; we have been gone for over a month. I have had an epiphany; my son may not be paranoid schizophrenic! How did I come to this conclusion? For this time period Mike has been off his meds and yet... he has been more capable and has lost most of his fears. He watches Television, listens to his music, went back into the bedroom to get his belongings (he would not go in there before) Mike has been very helpful, cleaning the house, washing laundry, mopping the floors, and taking care of the animals too! He still has his "issues" but they are minor in comparrison--really minor! So tell me, what do you think it is? I think it's PTSD! PTSD is commonly diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenia!

What in the world can I do?

So Mike has been home now for 4 months-- still not showering, or changing his clothes. His jumpsuit is actually coming apart at the seems and yet...she will not change his clothes! It's driving me CRAZY! The smell is so bad, that even fabreeze does not help. We found out my husband has a tumor, yes, it is cancer-- so now, once my hubby goes in for surgery and chemo I don't know what to do! Besides the hygene aspect, he also will not go into the refrigerator for food or drink, he will not do anything for himself!

Shower please?

I sit next to him and the odor is less than appealing, his feet are black with filth, his hands--oh dear lord his hands-- his hair is so stiff from dirt, I itch just being in the same zip code and I don't know what to do! How do I get him to look after his basic needs? how do I let him know it's safe to wash, get food and drink from the fridge, change his clothes? It's been over three months and and I'm at a loss--
Any suggestions?

I wonder what it's like in his head?

Ca you imagine being scared--scared of everything? Words, water, voices, radios, television, food, drink--they all are something Mike is scared of~ He is even afraid of his video games!What can I do to assure him that the everyday things, the stuff we do without even thinking about them are ok? I don't know...I hate watching him go on like this; this is not living!

A typical day with my paranoid schizophrenic son

Too many normal words set Michael off; it only takes the mention of a normal everyday word to throw Mike into a Q. and A session. Trying to have any conversation, watch television, listen to the radio, or just asking a simple question will sound his bells and whistles. Here are just some examples:
Me:Dear, I'm going to the store, what would you like me to get for dinner? Mike: I'm not going to die from you or the neighbors, or Barry, saying what? You're not talking about me going and I'm not going anywhere and I'm not going to die from you going to the store? Me: No Mike Mike: Can you get me a burrito and a coke? Me: Yes, how many burritos do you want? Mike: I'm not to die from you or Barry heating up the burritos or for the microwave going on or off and that's still a part of my lunch right? Me: No--and right Michael. Mike:I'm not going to die from you handing me those burritos or from me taking those burritos or from eating those burritos right mom? Me: right Mike. Mike: and I'm not going to die from you bringing me this coke or handing me this coke or from me taking this coke or drinking this coke and the coke and burritos are still a part of my lunch, and I can have spaghetti from a can for dinner and this is not my dinner right mom? Me: Right Mike.

This is but a tiny glimpse into a moment with Mike...imagine that this goes on all day and well into the night.

Picture this: One day out of the blue, a call from a long lost adult child, it’s been years sense you have heard his voice, you spend many sleepless nights worrying about this young man and now, at last the phone call you’ve been waiting for is here at last. There is a significant change in his voice a certain void in the tone—the words spill out, words you only see on a news. and giggle about because, this could never happen in your family. Your child is ranting on, about demons, of an arrest because he took off his clothing and paraded into a courthouse.
Unfortunately, today, there is a grave need for mental health resources; many caregivers are at a loss. Finding contacts when there is a crisis, which organizations are available when our loved one is out of control and what about local support groups? Living with a mentally ill family member is frustrating enough, but trying to find the necessary resources can be exasperating; which adds to the stress of the caregiver and the mentally ill family member.
Some mental facilities instruct the caregiver to call 911; it does not always help. One incident, 911 was called, the police officers responded, assessed the situation, and could do nothing to alleviate the issue. The term, fifty-one-fifty is defined as: A danger to oneself or others; this does not include what the caregiver considers as such.
What are your rights, responsibilities, and whom can a caregiver turn to for advice and assistance? I have been in the trenches and have some answers. I research every day for more information and will continue to do so until the end. When something this catastrophic enters your life, you learn how to get what is needed—survival of the educated!

Treatment?

OMG! First let me tell you that "if" you are able to get your family member into a treatment program; it's a miracle. All the mental health facilities only take the patients "if" they are a danger to themselves or others. That idea, is an extreme fine line. Define in "danger" Unless they are actually hurting themselves, openly trying to commit suicide or doing bodily harm to you or another family member, they are not 51/50. So, not taking their medications, not paying attention to personal hygiene, changing clothes, eating regularly or staying out of the harshness of the weather is not considered to be a danger.

I'm the mother, the one constant in my "adult" child's life. The term Adult is the operative word-- Once in a facility, unless you have guardianship over them, you can not get any information or speak to medical personal--they will not contact you for any reason unless the patient request it. Now, they will contact you once they are trying to release the patient-- That is only to assure that the patient will have a place to go. sounds conviluted right? It is!

What do you do as a parent when your child comes home sick?

I thought, as most mothers do, that I could make it ALL better. No--it does not work that way when your child comes home Paranoid Schizophrenic.
Mike stepped off the plane, I was so exited to see my child, it had been way to long--too many years had passed without even a word. There he stood, long tangled hair, a full beard, he was dirty--the sight most people walk away from; but I couldn't, I had to hold my baby, my little long lost child.