I don't know about anyone else...but I smell a conspiracy!

Michael went from doing very well to catatonic in less than one week! We visited him on Saturday and by Friday he was whisked away to a hospital. Mike usually calls me everyday at my lunchtime; Wednesday...no call,so when I got home I called him. He said he felt like he had the flu so I said get some rest,and I'll talk to you tomorrow. Thursday came and he did not call me,I just figured he was sick and let it go until the next day. Friday came and this time I called him. It took forever for him to actually answer the phone, and I heard a staff member say: "Mike, it's your mom." Then he spoke: "They changed my medication mom, it's making me feel weird; my voices are back very strong and my anxiety is bad." I told him I would visit him on Saturday--but Mike always calls me Friday night to let me know what I need to bring him--no call. Before making that two hour trip to Riverside I decided to call the facility, Millers Progressive Care. "Hello,this is Mike's Mom, I'm concerned, Mike hasn't called me and I was wondering how he's doing today?" The voice was cold and dry to say the least "We can not give you any information, you will need to call his conservator." "But it's Saturday, she won't be in!" Then the line went dead. My heart dropped, something was very wrong.I called Ricky, and he told me he still had the payphone number. I suggested he ask for one of Mike s friends, Tim.When Ricky spoke to Tim he was told Mike was taken to hospital--but where was anyone's guess. Rick ad I did some sleuthing and we found him at Riverside Community Hospital; in a catatonic state. Here's a little background some might find interesting: In November, I received a letter from his Conservator, Longina Shaw, San Bernadino. It stated that because Social Security only allows an on hand amount of $2,000.00 and she had nearly $6,000.00 on hand,she was putting that money in a burial trust--an irrevocable burial trust, at that...Mike is only 32, he's physically well, (or rather he WAS) and is not lacking a family to handle any needs of this caliber. As soon as Mike and I were making waves about the funds,suddenly Mike's medication was changed,he was moved from Miller's Progressive care and all his belongings are gone! I-pod,Television,cell phone, clothes, pictures and so on. Another odd chain of events was Dixie,the facility's administrator called me the same Friday to say she had to make a report on me. WTF? "Mike pierced his ears,did you know that? said Dixie "Yes, I noticed he had earrings in." I replied "Do you know where he got the needle?" "Not really,where?" Dixie kept asking more questions or rather accusations is more like it. "Well,he also had a pack of matches." "That was an oversight on my part,I'm guessing...when I got him his cigarettes the store clerk dumped a handful of matches and I really thought I got them all." I answered Next she asked about a mirror---"well,he asked his brother if he could have it and without thinking Rick gave it to him." He can't have any of those things, I'm forced to make a report, and on your next visit, it WILL be supervised.!" The entire conversation made me feel uneasy, but I know why he can't have those things...he is searched every visit-- Why weren't they simply confiscated? Here's the real clincher folks...Miller's has been asked by this new facility for Mike's Medical records; what drugs was he taking and what medication did they change...Miller's has refused. So now the hospital is forced to strat from scratch--once again it's find the magic mix. I don't know about anyone else...but I smell a conspiracy!

Conservitor agravation!!!

I recieved a letter a few weeks ago stating that my son's conservitor wants to take excess money on hand, almost $6,000.00 and put it in a irravocable burial trust! WTF??? I've been the one visiting him every week, paying for his, other than room and board stuff and that crazy lady has only put about 200.00 on his books for over two years! I really don't know what to do about this-- Mike wants a new conservitor and he would rather spend that money on HIS needs now! I wish I could be his conservitor or at the veryleast his payee. What drives me batty is these people THINK just because Mike (and other's like him) are locked up they are also stupid drooling idiots! Mike and I have been running around like crazy trying to cet a continuance on the upcoming court date (December 23rd!) I try and make his court dates but...the campus I work at will be getting ready to close for the winter break-- HOW can these people in control be so neglegent and unfeeling? How can they HOLD onto that much money for so long? If, as the letter states...there is only supposed to be $2,000.00 on hand how did this amount get SO out of hand??? How about the other clients who have no family that cares supporting them? Who watches out for them? I'm more than baffled-- I AM PISSED OFF!!! I want that lady investigated, audited, and ultimately FIRED for her incompitance!!! If anyone know what stpes I can make to see that this happens, please...send me a message. Thank you for listening... Crazy son's CRAZY mom

Mike had a very welcome facebook message

It's vital to his recovery; family-- Mike misses them all so much, his siblings were everything to him. So, he recieved an unexpected friend request from his estranged sister-in-law. He asked me what he should do, still being quite paranoid, that is. I simply said, except it! Crystal would not ask you unless she wants to have contact with you. He did-- Paul too has contacted him as well, they even talked on the phone! I'm so happy and now not only have they contacted Mike, but Rick as well...still waiting, hoping, wanting to be reunited with them myself, but I'll bide my time, and revel in what gift the boys have recieved. I miss them all terribly, it's been almost ten years. I really want them to know, no matter what, I am and always will be their mom to Paul, and grandma to the children. My heart is conflicted with happiness for the boys and intence saddness for me. I broke down yesterday when Rick came, worried I would be upset that he is connecting with them again-- nope, just heartbroken it's not me as well. I'll wait until my dying days...I just hope they don't wait that long. Life is very short, we must embrace the moments we can, and just love those we hold dear unconditionaly. Well, one more step, one more piece of the puzzle in place-- here's hoping my friends...

Mike now and before...there is hope!

The picture on the top, is Mike today...the bottom, two years ago! I wanted to share the pictures to let you see how wonderfully he is doing these days! I never thought I would ever see him smile again, or his him laugh, or have a rational conversation with him again. This is why we need more programs to help our mentally ill in America--

It's been a long while but...

It's been a long while writing in this blog, but I guess, when life is going good, we tend to forget our readers and those who are looking for answers. Mike is doing well-- in fact, better than well. He has been moved to another facility, one that gives him more room to grow. I visit just about every week, even though it's farther away; about another half hour. His sister went with me last week and finally was able to see for herself how wonderful he is. It is our Mike--he laughs, jokes, hugs, showers, and yes, he even shaves when he's in the mood. He is excited, because he gets to meet his nephews for the first time. The other facility would not allow children and the boys are just a little over a year old now. Mike is so concerned about them being scared, he's shaving his beard, and trimming his mustache. I will be happier, when he recognizes that the medication is working. For right now, he does not think so, but I can tell you, they are! It's wonderful to look into his eyes and see my baby again, to know that his wonderful warm light shines through. I really thought, I would never see my baby again. There is hope, what we need now is the Mental Health System to be re-vamped so that others can get this help that is desperatly needed. Too many lives are lost, not just because of lack of gun control, but rather the lack of available services out there. This was a seven year process! The Drugs are hit and miss, and a mere 72 hour hold is NEVER enough time to either find the right medications or give the person time to level up. I was talking to a couple who has been dealing with the same situation for fifty years! Some families simply give up, they burn out, and finaly circum to watching their child go to the streets, never knowing if they are alive and well, or have died. I know it's not any easy burden, I too have been frustrated beyond belief; no matter what, he is my baby! Giving up is never an option. They need our love, support, and reasurence-- they need that connection to the real world, even if it looks as if they have no idea what the real world is! When Mike was in the other facility, I would add some of his fellow residents to the visits, sometimes there would be upword of seven, not counting Mike on the visit. These wonderful warm loving people craved attention, love, and outside influence. Sometimes, I was all they had. It saddens me to see them all waiting, wanting, and lonely. I would provide treats, sodas, little trinkets like books, or magazines and cigarettes-- the mentally ill SMOKE-- that's all they have to look forward to is smoke breaks. I am so grateful my son, Mike is doing better, and worried for his future too. I pray someday we can transisiton him into his own appartment, under the watchful eyes of a professional-- that's my dream. But for now, this will do, he is safe, he feels safe, and all we have in life is hope.